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By Dorothy Parker

Inscription for the Ceiling of a Bedroom

Daily dawns another day;
I must up, to make my way.
Though I dress and drink and eat,
Move my fingers and my feet,
Learn a little, here and there,
Weep and laugh and sweat and swear,
Hear a song, or watch a stage,
Leave some words upon a page,
Claim a foe, or hail a friend -
Bed awaits me at the end.

Though I go in pride and strength,
I'll come back to bed at length.
Though I walk in blinded woe,
Back to bed I'm bound to go.
High my heart, or bowed my head,
All my days but lead to bed.
Up, and out, and on; and then
Ever back to bed again,
Summer, Winter, Spring, and Fall -
I'm a fool to rise at all!


Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

One Perfect Rose

A single flow'r he sent me, since we met.
       All tenderly his messenger he chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet -
       One perfect rose.

I knew the language of the floweret;
       "My fragile leaves," it said, "his heart enclose."
Love long has taken for his amulet
       One perfect rose.

Why is it no one ever sent met yet
       One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
       One perfect rose.

News Item

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses

Some background on Parker.