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Fifty Things She Wishes You Knew
I don't personally agree with most of this, but it's still hilarious...

From an old copy of Men's Health comes "The guide to end all guides" 50 things she WISHES you knew... [however, I got it off of my cousin's livejournal]

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or after sex doesn't count.
2. Real men drive stick
3. I will leave if you lie.
4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts)
5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when i have no reason to think so.
6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper into my ear.
7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.
9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
11. I expect you to call me.
12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
13. I'm scared of losing my independance.
14. I'm more forgiving of you than I should be.
15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-dog-house-free card.
16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not.
17. If i'm not having sex with you, (A) having a fat day; (B) not feeling "connected" to you; (C) blackmailing you to get something I want.
18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not
19. I own Debbie Gibson and Tiffany CDs and i'm not afraid to use them.
20. When I compare my tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
21. A man I love plans the occassional fancy-shmancy dress up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
23. You should never tell me what to do.
24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.
25. My breasts LOVE much licking and sucking.
26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.
28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
29. When in doubt, go with a shirt that matches your eye color.
30. I want to be Madonna.
31. Women get urinary tract infections. So watch (and wash) your fingers.
32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing stuff, wearing white T-shirts and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
34. I need to hear how you feel about me. OFTEN. Tell me now.
35. Suprises, especially gifts for ME = MORE LOVING.
36. I want to be the best thing that's ever hapened to you. And for you to recognize this.
37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking...
38. Discussion of ex-bf's and ex-gf's should be avoided at all costs.
39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking even if you don't know yourself.
40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points. (If you can only remember we've been going out for 3, 7, however many months, though, that is impressive enough)
41. I love it when you're sweaty.
42. It's best to consult your gal-pals for gift ideas.
43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
44. I like porn.
45. I love holding your ass in the palms of my hands.
46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
49. I remember EVERYTHING from our relationship.
50.You should know all this without me telling you.